The final makeover

Most people get one last haircut before the casket closes.

Ladies being laid to rest want their hair done in their favorite style; their makeup just so; their nails painted to match their burial dress. Men need their hair cut and their beards trimmed or shaved depending on what they preferred when they were living.

It’s important for the family as well. It is the last time many will see their loved ones in this world; a parting photo for the family who wants to remember their loved one a certain way after seeing them at their worst when death took them.

“It’s rewarding,” Carla Lichlyter said about giving the deceased their final makeover. She is Becher-Kluesner’s resident beautician and mom. “The families see them at their worst when they are sick and when they pass. Nothing is more rewarding than when someone thanks me for making their mom or aunt look beautiful for their funeral.”

Carla has been with the funeral home since 1998 when Arnie Kluesner recruited her.

She graduated from Jasper High School in 1979 and then attended Tristate Beauty College before beginning to work at David’s Hair Salon on Jasper’s north side.

Carla was at David’s for about 18 years before one day Arnie stopped in at Ann’s Place on the Square (Bread and Butter is in that location now). Carla’s sister Ann operated the restaurant and Carla was there for lunch.

“He goes ‘Carla, you need to come work for me,’ and I about choked.” she laughed, “He said ‘no, seriously. Nine to five. I need someone to clean, set up flowers, do hair.'”

Carla had wanted to be a nurse because she enjoyed helping people. “I always wanted to be a nurse or do hair,” Carla said. “I went on to do hair. I know I can make people feel good when I do their hair.”

“When you feel good about your hair, you feel good about everything,” she added.

The job came with set hours as well as perks like insurance, a retirement plan and paid vacation. After being self-employed for 18 years, a paid vacation was very attractive. That, and the end to the late evenings doing hair, compelled her to investigate.

“So, I came in one Saturday, and we talked and he showed me around,” she said. “And I did it. I have been here since. When Arnie asked me, I knew I wasn’t going to go back to school to be a nurse, and I still wanted to help people. I just want to help people, and this is the closest I can have.”

Soon after starting, Carla’s beautician talents were put to the test for the first time when a prominent Jasper family lost its matriarch. “I remember John (Becher) told me ‘we are going to break you in good girl,'” she laughed. “There was never a thought about not being able to do it. I saw a picture of how she liked her hair, and I just did it.”

For Carla, it is a job and she has always viewed it that way, but early on there was some joking. “I remember saying to John ‘oh, if they [the deceased] would ever move or something …'” Carla laughed, “and he said ‘that won’t happen, but if it does, I will beat your butt out the door because I will be out of here before you!'”

Carla has remained on staff at the funeral home for the past 17 years. In that time, she has touched many people’s lives. She has learned a great deal and provided a great amount of care and love to each person in their final makeover.

The process begins after the funeral directors have met with the deceased’s family members for the arrangements. Usually, the family will bring in photos of the loved one and Carla will meet with them to determine what they would like to have done.

The work can be a simple as a haircut and style, but it can even include coloring the deceased’s hair if that is what the family wants.

According to Jillian Becher, John Becher’s daughter and a funeral director at Becher-Kluesner, Carla is very meticulous about grooming the dead to ensure they look the best they can. “It’s like that person is my own loved one,” Carla said. “I just do it because this is someone’s loved one.”

But in the time she has been with Becher-Kluesner, it was inevitable she would see some family members come through.

She did her own mother’s hair when she passed away last year and according to Carla, the process was rewarding. “I knew she would want me to do it,” she said. “I have done her hair since I was in high school. She wouldn’t want anyone else.”

Carla’s sisters and family joined her as she completed her mother’s final makeover. She even guided them as they helped do their mother’s nails and makeup. According to Carla and Jillian, other families have done this as well.

“It helps bring closure for them,” Jillian said.

For families who have watched a loved one linger with an illness, Carla’s work can bring some consolation. But, there have been tough times for Carla. “When someone dies suddenly,” she explains recalling when her best friend Kelli Eckert died in 2010. “There is nothing anybody can say or do. Maybe a touch on the shoulder, a squeeze on the hand. There is nothing you can say to take their hurt away. Sometimes, I just give them a hug.”

Kelli walked with Carla every day but one February morning Kelli told her husband she didn’t feel well; later that day she died of a heart attack at the age of 45.

Becher-Kluesner handled the arrangements for Kelli’s family, and as Carla sometimes does, she led Kelli’s sister and sister-in-laws in doing Kelli’s hair, make-up and nails. “They did everything, I just guided them,” Carla said. “It was so rewarding. It gave them time and they were so grateful and thankful.”

According to Carla, sometimes families want to take part in completing their loved one’s final makeover. It doesn’t happen very often, but if Carla hears someone say they always did their mother’s nails or something similar, then she asks them if they would like to do it for them now. “It isn’t for everyone but for those that do it, it helps them I think,” she said.

If the person is cooperating, Carla can get their hair, makeup and nails done in about half an hour. But it isn’t always easy to work on the deceased’s hair; even in death some hair is just hard to manage. When that happens, Carla has to talk to them. “If I am having trouble with their hair I might say something like ‘come on Mary, you’re not cooperating with me,'” she said. “It’s just part of it when you have done it for 18 years. I don’t know.”

If the style wanted is too difficult, Carla can call upon some of her friends from David’s Hair Salon to come help. “They [the deceased] just have to look great.”

And when she isn’t needed for her beautician skills, Carla is the mother of the funeral home. She is always cleaning, setting up flowers or greeting visitors. She is likely the voice a person will hear on the phone if they call during her working hours.

It is all rewarding to her and she sees herself filling a need for the funeral directors who are on call 24-7 and the families that come through the door to bid their loved ones a final goodbye.

“I learned a lot from John (Becher),” she explained.

According to Carla, John always knew the right words to say for comfort and was so wonderful with the families that came through the funeral home. He taught Carla a lot. “I learned a lot from him, but I didn’t get to learn it all,” she said through some tears.

John died on July 10, 2011 in a motorcycle accident in Orange County. The pain at the loss of John is still apparent as Carla chokes up each time his name is mentioned. With his home right behind the funeral home, he was usually at Becher-Kluesner with Carla.

“I always cut his hair, so I cut his hair when he died.”

Now, Carla sees John in his daughter Jillian, who decided to work at the funeral home after he died. “She is so like him and in time,” she says about Jillian’s kindness and warmth, “she will be just like her dad.”

Jillian is a licensed funeral director with Arnie, Tim and Joe Kluesner, Gary Jones, and Katie Schuck at the funeral home. Carla is the only one not licensed as a funeral director.

For Carla, and all the funeral directors, hearing that the family is happy with how their loved one looked as they said their goodbyes is all that matters. “That is rewarding. That is what makes my job easy,” she said. “I just treat them all the same. it’s just my job,” she explained humbly.

Carla and her husband Pat live in Ireland. Pat is employed at Dubois REC and operates a turkey farm. The couple have three children; Gavin 28, Ryan, 25, and Emily, 20.