The empty nest

It was over 11 years ago that we dropped off our son Ryan at Indiana University for his first year of college.  Move-in day was a day from hell.  We cried all the way back to Huntingburg.  In fact, I cried for a least a week thereafter.  I missed him being a part of our family. How was I going to get through this?  He was homesick and we were missing him terribly. But, like many things life continued on and it got easier.  It did help that my daughter was still living at home.

Sure, Ryan came home for visits, but it was never quite the same.  It was like he was a visitor in his own home.  I made sure his sheets were freshly washed and had his favorite foods to eat, but he was no longer involved in our day-to-day lives.

I dreaded the day it was time for our daughter Emily to go away to college.  I heard other parents say an “empty nest” is great.  You can do things you haven’t done in years.  No more sporting events every evening; you can start doing what you want to do and not what your kids want to do.  I am thinking what are you talking about.  I don’t have any hobbies.  My life revolves around my children.  Just me and my husband without kids, heaven forbid!

Fast-forward 6 years and it was time for Emily to start college. That whole summer, I dreaded the day it was time for her move-in day at college.  The day finally arrives….it is Emily’s move in day!  I am shocked, this move-in day is a totally different experience. We were laughing and having a great time. No one was crying.. it was a great day!  I am thinking “What the heck is going on here?  Why are we not sad?”

As we were driving home, we both are shocked that we are not more upset.  Is this the way life is suppose to be?  You raise your children and teach them well and send them on their way.  I guess the only answer is “Yes”!

Sure, I miss talking and seeing Emily every single day, but I am not as sad as I thought I would be.  We have done our job raising our children and now it is time for just me and my husband.  I will be honest, there have been many ups and downs.  Emily does come home during the summer, and Ryan, now married, visits 3 or 4 times a year, but I like it when it is just me and my husband at home.  As I told him recently, I like just spending time with you.  Sure we argue, but it is different since no one is hearing us argue.

We have re-kindled relationship with old friends and started a garden. Instead of 2 children, we now have 2 dogs.   I will be honest it has taken some time to get use to just being by ourselves, but we are enjoying our time together.  We are eating healthier and exercising more. No more grabbing fast food as we are heading out of town for the next kid’s sporting event.

Now, we are patiently waiting for grandchildren.  The problem is I need to convince Ryan to start have those grandbabies. This day too will come.

Sandy Kays