by Kathy Tretter, special from The Ferdinand News

“Creating a World of More Birthdays.”

That is the dream — and the theme of the 2012 Dubois County Relay For Life, to be held on the Jasper Middle School track June 1 and 2.

The financial goal this year is $138,000, but by the time June 1 rolls around, the fund-raising will almost be finished. The Relay itself is a way to celebrate the successes — both financial and — quite literally — physical for those suffering from or affected by cancer.

On this sunny Wednesday evening, Kayla Brahm is seated at the kitchen table sharing her enthusiasm for all things Relay.

For the second year, Kayla and her family have organized Team Karen’s Courage in honor of Kayla’s mother, Karen Brahm, who lost her battle with pancreatic cancer two short months after being diagnosed in 2010.

Kayla was just 15 at the time, but her mother’s courage and spirit inspired her to continue the battle in a very beneficial way.

Kayla and her family, including aunts, uncles, Grandma and Grandpa and cousins (about 20 in all) plan to decorate their campsite with a Happy Birthday theme. “Everybody will go all out,” Kayla reports with enthusiasm. There will be an award for Most Creative site.

Kayla’s dedication extends even farther. Two years ago she organized “Rangers for Courage”, a Relay Team made up of seventh and eighth graders at Forest Park Junior High. Roughly 30 students have been working on this project since the school year began. They raised over $1,000 during Ferdinand’s Town-wide Yard Sales alone.

“I am excited to work with them all year,” says Kayla, “and especially excited to see them excited about helping other people.”

Kayla says it’s not too late to form a team as more participants who want to help people celebrate more birthdays are always welcome.

Not up to putting together a team but willing to help?

Consider writing a check to the American Cancer Society and mailing it to Kayla Brahm at 1645 Main Street, Ferdinand, IN 47532 or give her a call at 367-0724 or visit relayforlife.org or call 1-800-227-2345. That same number also serves as a 24-hour hot line so cancer patients can be matched with much needed assistance.

A sampler hangs on the wall behind Kayla in the dining room, stitched with the words:

What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail . . .

This 17-year-old, a survivor in her own right, seems to live that motto.

Mickey’s story

At 79, Mickey (Brahm) Smith is as physically fit as a woman half her age, spending a huge chunk of each week mowing eight acres of her 13 acre lawn (with husband, Ron), as well as other properties. When not mowing she is working in her garden or just generally keeping busy.

Nowadays her once lustrous black tresses have turned a gorgeous, snowy white, but no one would have trouble recognizing the young girl Hank Brahm  made his own many years go.

He gave her the nickname Mickey when she was 16, thinking Mildred was just a bit too formal.

Before they married, a former teacher who knew Hank told Mickey, ‘You’ll never have a boring day,’  . . . “and,” says Mickey, ” I haven’t.”

After they wed, Mickey gave birth to eight children, four girls, Debbie, Jackie, Karen and Sherri, then three boys, Hank John and Dave, then one more girl — Gwen — for good measure.

“We always had a houseful. Not only our own kids,” Mickey remembers. “When you’ve got a pool [the Brahms owned the lone in-ground swimming pool in town] and a big family, you’ve got a houseful.”

Karen was child number three, a little shyer and quieter than her siblings. Karen suffered from an extensive list of allergies — eggs, nylon, strawberries among others — so Mickey drove her to Evansville several times each week for treatment.

This allowed for some special sharing between mother and daughter. “We were always real close,” Mickey recalls. “I always felt she needed more attention due to her allergies.”

Sometimes she wondered if each of her children was getting enough attention, a common worry for parents with big families. But, there was never a dull moment and each child always had someone to play with — the perk that also comes with a large brood.

Because of the allergies, Mickey learned how to make sweet rolls without eggs. Her mother admonished her, “Those are going to be hard as rocks,” but Mickey told her she didn’t want Karen to feel deprived. “If she can eat them we can too.”

Karen couldn’t wear the frilly nylon dresses other children her age were sporting, but she didn’t seem to mind.

Mickey’s wide smile grows even broader as she recalls the snow days when her children were joined by their friends at the Brahms’ home and they would play games all morning, take a break to eat their fill from the big pot of chili bubbling on the stove with mugs of hot chocolate at noon and resume playing games until the other children had to go home.

Or the summer days pre-pool when Mickey and her children were joined by her sister-in-law, Billie Jean Leinenbach (Hanks’s sister) and her six kids for days spent lazing on the Ferdinand Forest beach. The children would swim and the moms would pack a picnic lunch, capping the meal off with homemade ice cream made right there at the forest.

But then Hank was diagnosed with cancer. He died July 25, 1975, at age 44. Five children were still living at home. Mickey had 29 rental units to care for and a sign business to run. That duty was taken over by Gene Brahm, Hank’s brother and Bill Kerchoff but she still had the properties and children to contend with.

Her grown daughters spent every Sunday with her after their father died, but finally Mickey told them they should spend the time with their husbands. Much as she enjoyed their company, she didn’t want their lives to be so interrupted.

Eventually, Mickey met Ron Smith and they married in 1984, moving out to a new home in Bretzville about a year and a half later.

As a young adult, Karen became something of a snowbird. “When the first snowflake would fly, she’d be back to Florida,” Mickey explains. She would work at golf courses and country clubs and then return to Indiana in the spring. “She told me ‘I’m going to enjoy life while I can. I may not be here tomorrow.'”

“That all changed when Karen had Kayla [in 1994]. She got responsible,” Mickey asserts.

Karen moved back to Ferdinand, took a job at Kimball and devoted herself to her child. She spent quite a bit of her free time with her mother.

“She worked so hard,” says Mickey. During the next 15 years, Karen bought a house and made it a home for the two of them. She made certain Kayla had the anchor of an extended family and was always surrounded by love.

“She had got it all together when she got sick,” Mickey notes.

The doctor thought it was pneumonia, maybe walking pneumonia. Or maybe the flu. But she wasn’t getting any better.

When the diagnosis was finally made, Karen asked the doctor how long she had. He predicted a year and a half.

She lived two more months.

Mickey was there for her every day. “I tried to help her all I could.”

Karen asked her niece, Jenna Brandes, if she would consider adopting Kayla when the time came. “I would have loved to have her,” explains Mickey, “but I couldn’t have done what Brian [Jenna’s husband] and Jenna have done.”

She is glad her granddaughter has adjusted so well and is a happy, thriving teenager.

As to Relay for Life — which has become a passion for both Jenna and Kayla, Mickey is a proud supporter, though she confesses to going home to sleep in her own bed during part of the festivities. But, at age 79, she figures everyone understands.

Mickey misses Karen, but professes you must look on the bright side and stay positive. With God’s help, she has done just that.

“It’s been an interesting life,” she ruminates. “But I wouldn’t want to relive some parts a second time.”

Jenna’s story

Jenna Brandes’s life took a 180 a couple of years ago.

The second oldest grandchild of Mickey Smith and beloved niece of Karen Brahm, Jenna was 18 when her niece, Kayla was born. Kayla was always a part of her life — she babysat for her tiny cousin and was involved from the start.

When Karen received her diagnosis of pancreatic cancer, Jenna figured out fast that her aunt, mother and grandmother had that deer in the headlights look after doctor appointments, so she made it a point to go along to every one. Jenna became Karen’s health care representative and tirelessly researched  her options.

When Karen came to Jenna and her husband, Brian, with a very special request Karen just knew they were the right ones for the task.

Her request? That Brian and Jenna become parents to Kayla after Karen’s death. The couple agreed, knowing this would be the least disruptive to Kayla’s already disrupted life. She would not have to change schools, she would inherit two younger sisters and, most of all, she would be loved.

Last year, Jenna and Kayla got involved with Relay For Life, mounting a family team and going at the fund-raising requirements with great enthusiasm. “I saw Relay as a way for Kayla and I to get involved in something together,” Jenna explains. “And as a way not to forget Karen. Everyone goes on with their lives, but this is a way to bring the family back together and make it a positive while remembering.”

Last year, they raised over $5,000 for the cause. So far this year the team is at $3,300 with a little time to go. A couple of weeks ago, Jenna sold popsicles at Ferdinand Elementary for 25¢ apiece and the school invited students to wear a hat (for another 25¢ donation) or to dress up in a specific theme. That event alone raised around $865. “It’s hard as a family team to compete with corporations,” Jenna says. But the co-captains give it their all.

Jenna, Brian, Kayla, Larisa and Ali have become a true family in every sense of the word. Brian, who had to win Kayla’s trust, now is the preferred parent to cheer her on at softball games. And all of them spend quality time together.

Others don’t always understand. Kayla will introduce Larisa and Ali as her sisters and someone will invariably say, “They’re not your sisters, they are your cousins.” Or Jenna will say these are her three daughters and is told she looks much too young to be the mother of a teenager.

But among themselves they understand. A family can share love and understanding and not necessarily the same gene pool.