It’s not too early to keep your child safe from alcohol, drugs
By Dubois County CARES
The goal of the Dubois County Coalition for Adolescent Resilience and Empowerment Strategies, more commonly known as Dubois County CARES, is to keep the county’s youth drug- and alcohol-free. The more we do our job, the more we realize all of “the little things” that are involved, from childhood to age 21.
During this season of graduations, we offer our top tips for parents and other caregivers of the Class of 2024, whether they be graduates of preschool, elementary school or high school.
Preschool
Your children are watching you closely and to some degree are copying your behavior. Children’s perception of alcohol norms, such as drinking habits and frequency, come from observing their parents. The parent of the same gender as the child is the child’s biggest influence. Be sure the behavior you are modeling regarding alcohol, tobacco and other substances is responsible.
Studies have shown that children who sip from an adult’s cup at home are more likely than those who don’t to become regular drinkers by middle school.
It takes effort, but having family meals together is still believed to be one of the most important actions parents can take to protect their children from all kinds of high-risk behaviors, including substance use. If you start doing this regularly while the children are young, it will be easier to do at least periodically when they are older. No phones at the table.
To raise a resilient child, be a resilient parent.
The earlier and more often you start having important conversations with your child, the easier they become. Just remember to use words and concepts appropriate to the child’s age. When it comes to substances, you might start this conversation by asking your child what they know about alcohol, for example. Asking open-ended questions aids conversation and builds trust, and from your children’s answers you’ll know your starting point.
If you don’t talk about substance use with your children, they are at higher risk for it. If you don’t talk to them early enough, you can be sure they will hear messages from others – and those messages might not be what you want them to have.
Heap on protective factors, including hope. Protective factors include positive activities, interactions, words, etc. These factors counterbalance risk factors, and the earlier they are piled on, the greater the child’s chances of making it to adulthood substance-free.
Depending on what it is, an older sibling’s behavior can be a protective factor or a risk factor. An older sibling who is alcohol- and drug-free can have a big influence on a younger sibling.
Challenges arise early in children’s lives. Children who struggle in lower elementary school are the ones more likely to use addictive substances when they get to high school.
To relieve stress is a common answer for why youth start using substances. Help your child learn that not all stress is negative. Having some stress is normal. Give your child an opportunity to talk about the stresses they are feeling and help them manage it. Remind them that it will not last forever.
Make your expectations and consequences clear. When a child feels like their life is out of control, a parent can offer reassurance by being stable and consistent, not just about family expectations but also about family structure and rituals.
As your child gets older, keep an eye on their friend groups. By the time children are in intermediate school, they take these groups very seriously and friendship upset is a cause of great angst. Also, don’t underestimate the power of peer pressure; most kids’ first substance use happens when they are with their peers.
Inhalants are a drug of first use for the very young, because they are so available. Being permissive with an adolescent’s substance use is likely to lead to continuing substance use. Children raised in families with permissive drug and alcohol expectations drink earlier, drink significantly more and experience more negative consequences from their drinking.
Kids who use drugs and alcohol in early adolescence rewire their brains such that the substance is required to feel normal.
According to the Indiana Youth Survey, our county’s young students have been reporting more depression every year. Sixth grade is the youngest grade surveyed, and on the 2023 questionnaire more than 30 percent of 399 sixth-graders indicated they had experienced at least two weeks of feeling sad or hopeless in the prior year.
When we mentioned protective factors earlier, we mentioned the importance of instilling hope. Think of this as the opposite of depression. When young people feel hopeless, they are vulnerable to increased rates of substance use, absenteeism, expulsion, depression, inactivity and sleeplessness.
As you come to know your child’s personality, you might identify reasons they would self-medicate; helping them to reduce that cause can prevent them from turning to substances for relief when they get older.
If addiction runs in your family, talk about this with your child.
Eighth grade
Parents and other caregivers should present a unified message about not tolerating underage alcohol use and any drug misuse. Be consistent. Follow through.
Kids who are raised under the clear expectation that they will not drink until age 21 are far less likely to develop substance use disorder during their lifetime. Kids who begin drinking before age 15 are 4 times more likely to develop alcohol dependence than those who begin drinking at age 21.
When it comes to having conversations about substances, it is important to gauge the mood beforehand. Don’t have an important conversation when you or your child is heated. A car ride or quiet time together outdoors can be a good time for serious discussion.
It bears repeating: Don’t underestimate the power of peer pressure. Help your child to use facts to battle peers’ misperceptions. Talk through scenarios your child might expect to encounter in high school. Help with refusal skills – practice normalizes these responses and your child will be prepared to say no.
Exit strategies also are important. Have a “safe word” with your child and anytime they get into a situation they need to get out of they text or call the word to you. You pick them up early, no questions asked.
Anyone can be susceptible to substance misuse. Instead of thinking “Not my kid,” think “Maybe even my kid.”
In informal conversations, county students say stress is a major reason they drink, smoke and use marijuana and other substances. According to the 2023 American Psychological Association’s “Stress in America” report, the most stressed-out people in the U.S. are Gen Z, which encompasses ages 11 to 26.
If you feel at all hypocritical based on your own youthful behavior, know that it is your job as a parent to move forward with your child based on the knowledge you have now. Drugs and alcohol do more damage to developing brains than to adult brains; some of the damage is permanent.
Generally, smoking cigarettes and marijuana, vaping, and drinking beer are the general first use of mind-altering substances. If we can keep youth away from these substances, we have a better chance of keeping them off the harder stuff.
Keep any alcohol and medications locked up. If you use e-cigarettes, make sure your children can’t access them.
Among youth, vaping is on the rise while smoking continues to decrease.
High school
Before your child goes out with friends, have a conversation about the potential for alcoholic beverages to be available at parties. Gaining your support strengthens your teen’s resolve, which further prepares them to say no to peer pressure.
Continue to help your child with refusal skills for graduation parties and other get-togethers. Getting them comfortable saying no can prepare them to stay away from alcohol when you aren’t there. Saying no also can help them avoid other risky behaviors.
Practice what to do and say when offered marijuana or one of its derivatives – THC or Delta-8, for example – at a party. Sample responses might be: No, I drove; no, my dad will be waiting up when I get home; no, addiction runs in my family.
Don’t host youth-focused parties where alcohol is available. Your children, no matter their age, are watching your behavior. Give them a positive role model. Let other parents know you don’t want your child drinking alcohol at the parties they host.
Talk about your child’s goals and make it clear that some of those goals could be sidelined by substance use.
