Benefit brings hope to survivors of suicide

For several years after his death, Kendra Nichols was reeling from the loss of her brother.

Her brother, Anthony Sturgeon, had dealt with depression and addiction much of his life. After years of struggling with addiction, the Dubois County man had gotten clean but then took his own life on August 13, 2016 at 29 years old.

His suicide slammed a door to any answers she was seeking. She had a hard time finding anyone to talk to about what had happened. No one likes to talk about suicide and even those who should seemingly have answers can fumble through those difficult moments.

“What stood out to me the most was the day that I lost my brother, a priest met with us and he didn’t talk about the suicide at all,” Kendra said. “When you lose someone from suicide, it is such a touchy subject you feel like you can’t even talk about it because other people that have never gone through it don’t understand it.”

She continued carrying that weight of unanswered questions and sorrow for several years until she attended a special event in Evansville and finally met people who began to help her deal with the feelings she had from her brother’s death. She met a woman who had lost her brother as well.

“She and I are kind of close in age, and the night I met her was when I actually felt like I could grieve my brother and be okay with it,” Kendra said.

She also attended a commemorative walk for suicide and began to think about how to create something in Dubois County to raise awareness and bring healing.

Then, another good friend took their life and Kendra realized she had to do something to let people know about the resources that are available. She also wanted to foster connections among survivors to allow them to heal in a caring and understanding community.

She established Locking Arms for Suicide Awareness Benefit and held the first event in 2019 on the week of the anniversary of Anthony’s death. She was helped by Janet Schnell, the director of Survivors of Suicide of Dubois County, who found out about the event on Facebook.

The event allowed for survivors to come together and lock arms in support. “My goal is to get the word out there that there are families filling the pain that you may be feeling because it happened to you,” Kendra said.

She also wants to get more resources into the hands of the public; to draw attention to the services that are available to prevent suicide as well as help in the aftermath.

Along with speakers and resources, Kendra put up a memorial of photos of those who had lost their lives to suicide. Seeing the visitors file by and view the photos brought her to tears as her heart broke for them. “But in a way, it also brings me joy and it brings me peace knowing that I am able to extend my hand or my heart out to that family for that individual,” Kendra said.

A memory table will be included in this year’s event and anyone wishing to share a photo can contact Kendra through the Locking Arms Facebook Page here.

Kendra describes the event as a night to connect with others, grieve by remembering those we love, and be reminded that you’re not alone while having fun. “The main goal is to remember that no matter what, we can lean on each other and continue to move forward even when we struggle.”

This year’s Locking Arms event will be at the Huntingburg Event Center on September 11 from 6 to 9 p.m. and it will feature a meal catered by Sanders Catering. There will be a cash bar and music provided through a local DJ. Along with the dinner, Kendra plans on speaking along with Mitch Fleck. Fleck attempted suicide several times before finally trying to take his life with a handgun. After the attempt, he woke up in a hospital with a new will to live and share his story.

Tickets to the September 11 event can be purchased here.

For those struggling with thoughts or feelings or if you know someone struggling, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 800-273-8255.

Kendra and her husband, Jacob, live on the west side of Evansville and the couple is expecting their first child, Nolan, within a few weeks of the upcoming event.